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Whenever I see the following line as someone's signature, my contempt for that person is so great I can almost taste it:

"Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

Why?  Because you're scared of it?  Because you know it's tougher than you, that perhaps it'll outlast pain and deprivation longer than you?  Supporting distrust of something that is a natural process of nature is disgusting.  It's not funny.  It's not clever.  It just makes it clear how much of an uneducated, red-necked, f*cking moron you are.
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:iconmermaid2000:
Mermaid2000 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2010
I've seen that signature before and yes, it annoys me. I have endometriosis. Try that for five days on top of the bleeding pal!
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:iconhalfbloodoutcast:
HalfBloodOutcast Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2010
i wonder if men actually have brains sometimes. . .
Reply
:iconzicoxite:
Zicoxite Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
A dude could potentially bleed that long, too, if it's a minor wound and he keeps prodding it.
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:iconraiderhater1013:
Raiderhater1013 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010
Yes this quote is not funny at all, it shows the stupidity of the one who said it or has it as a signature.
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:iconmorganlefay1958:
morganlefay1958 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I've actually never seen that particular phrase before, surprisingly. But I have to agree that it is both tasteless and lends a very dim view of the person who uses it.
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:iconprotowilson:
protowilson Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Filmographer
I believe its originator was George Carlin, comedian.
I think what irritates me most is not the line itself, but people using it, thinking that it's funny and/or clever.
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:iconjustanoli:
justanoli Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Writer
The only thing that offends me about it is that it isn't funny. It might have been humorous in context once (I am a big fan of horribly tasteless humor), but it ceased to become funny when it became an overused catchphrase.

Then, you mentioned signatures. I agree, it is stupid to use it in a signature. It is just an offensive statement apropos of nothing, with nothing that enhances or warrants it.

One rule of being funny: the topic or joke has to be relevant.
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:iconprotowilson:
protowilson Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Yes, I believe you're right. I can't say my choice of humour is particularly politically correct or highbrow at times, but sometimes when crassness is used just for the sake of being crass to shock, then that's not humour. And used out of context it's even more ineffective at being humourous.
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:iconjustanoli:
justanoli Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Writer
Well, you know what they say: timing is everything.

Honestly, I despise it when people try to be funny by using other people's material, and then do it wrong.
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:iconellygator:
Ellygator Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
It's more of a mutual process for me: anyone who distrusts anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die, is someone I want nothing to do with, so we should both be just fine. I'd rather go looking for a real man who isn't scared shitless of women, instead of some wuss who probably still lives in his Mommy's basement.
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:iconmarliv:
Marliv Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
As a woman, I find this line both utterly offensive and rather hilarious. It's alright with me if it's used by a cartoon character who's clearly meant to be a moron and asshole (like in 'South Park'), but any real person who copies it as a witty sentence, instead of funny and witty comes out as an 'uneducated, red-necked, f*cking moron', like you've stated above.
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:iconpikaf:
pikaf Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010
It is a quote from South Park. Mr Garrison says it.
If you know the series you also know that there is any kind of wrong behavior, like egoism, nationalism (Cartman) with the caracters. BUT the point is that the artists want to broach the issue of these things. In an ironic, sarcatic kind of way.
So when you look at this quote as it is mean, there is no way you could be taken it seriously.
I'm sorry but your making yourself an unnessacary problem.
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:iconprotowilson:
protowilson Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Filmographer
The quote does not originate from South Park. They've sourced it from elsewhere. I've heard it many years preceding South Park, so your assertion that since it comes from a comedy series and therefore shouldn't be taken seriously is invalid.
And if you don't mind, I'll make my own decisions about what I get annoyed about.
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:iconpikaf:
pikaf Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010
Maybe it wasn't on South Park at first. But that doesn't matter. It's a JOKE!
First: it doesn't say "women". That was your interpretation. But so what? Shall no one anymore make jokes about women? What about jokes about men?

Second: If you don't want my opinion or anyone elses opinion that is opposite yours here you shouldn't put it on DeviantArt. Because I don't understand why you sent me this obviously pissed-off sentence: "And if you don't mind, I'll make my own decisions about what I get annoyed about."

but okay, you and your friends go on swearing about people who find it funny. I hope you will sometime recognise the ironic part of it.
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:iconprotowilson:
protowilson Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Filmographer
If you'd bothered to read what I said, I said I'd make up my own mind about what I get annoyed about. Did I say anywhere that your opinion wasn't to be expressed here? Or anyone else's? No. So don't accuse me of squashing opinions.
But that's OK, you paint me with the humourless PC brush if it makes it easier. It actually doesn't bother me.
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:iconmerrymoll:
merrymoll Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

Translation: "I am a deeply insecure individual who has never got past the childhood "Girls have cooties!" stage. I tend to see women as bizarre aliens rather than as fellow human beings, and cannot see that this kind of attitude is the reason why I will never have a girlfriend or last long in a mature relationship."

As much as I hate this kind of attitude, at least when they put this shit in their sig we can see whom to avoid.
Reply
:iconscatharis:
Scatharis Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:shakefish: Stupidy never dies :icondragonmadplz:
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:iconandromeda-mirtle:
Andromeda-Mirtle Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Maybe I am stupid, but I didn't get the point of this signature until I read your journal. If they really mean women, it is disgusting.
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:iconcyntilla:
Cyntilla Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
And when they catch a simple cold it's like no-one EVER had nothing worse than that: they lie for weeks, dead-like on a couch, sobbing that they'll never make it alive... Idiots... :no:
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:icongeniemiller:
GenieMiller Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010  Professional General Artist
*Joins in on the angry fist waving in female solidarity against stupid ignorant*
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:iconladygraverobber:
LadyGraverobber Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010
Damn baby, I know how you feel. I fucking hate that. Jokes about that are so not funny.
Reply
:iconjennamuraki:
jennamuraki Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
If I remember right...I think it was a comedian who said the phrase but that's no excuse to belittle women. I would love to see the people who use that signature go through labor for two days then push out a watermelon and be able to walk the next day. *Sigh*
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:iconjennamuraki:
jennamuraki Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
let me rephrase, I would love to see those people who used that signature to go through the hectic monthly times, carry a baby for 9 months, go into labor, then give birth to the child and finally understand women go through alot in their lives.
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:icon4hnevans:
4hnevans Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010
And just when I thought people couldn't become any more stupid... :no: I feel almost physically ill reading that kind of utter crap that some of these idiots are spouting.
Reply
:iconembieria:
embieria Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010
Yeah! *shakes the angry fist in female solidarity against stupid ignorant fucking rednecks*
Reply
:iconprotowilson:
protowilson Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010  Professional Filmographer
I mean, honestly, we've all (all genders) got enough problems going on without that kind of shit!
Reply
:iconembieria:
embieria Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2010
I concur!

People are asshats.
Reply
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