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January 22, 2010
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Whenever I see the following line as someone's signature, my contempt for that person is so great I can almost taste it:

"Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

Why?  Because you're scared of it?  Because you know it's tougher than you, that perhaps it'll outlast pain and deprivation longer than you?  Supporting distrust of something that is a natural process of nature is disgusting.  It's not funny.  It's not clever.  It just makes it clear how much of an uneducated, red-necked, f*cking moron you are.
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:iconmermaid2000:
Mermaid2000 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2010
I've seen that signature before and yes, it annoys me. I have endometriosis. Try that for five days on top of the bleeding pal!
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:iconhalfbloodoutcast:
HalfBloodOutcast Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2010
i wonder if men actually have brains sometimes. . .
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:iconzicoxite:
Zicoxite Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
A dude could potentially bleed that long, too, if it's a minor wound and he keeps prodding it.
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:iconraiderhater1013:
Raiderhater1013 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010
Yes this quote is not funny at all, it shows the stupidity of the one who said it or has it as a signature.
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:iconmorganlefay1958:
morganlefay1958 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I've actually never seen that particular phrase before, surprisingly. But I have to agree that it is both tasteless and lends a very dim view of the person who uses it.
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:iconprotowilson:
protowilson Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Filmographer
I believe its originator was George Carlin, comedian.
I think what irritates me most is not the line itself, but people using it, thinking that it's funny and/or clever.
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:iconjustanoli:
justanoli Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Writer
The only thing that offends me about it is that it isn't funny. It might have been humorous in context once (I am a big fan of horribly tasteless humor), but it ceased to become funny when it became an overused catchphrase.

Then, you mentioned signatures. I agree, it is stupid to use it in a signature. It is just an offensive statement apropos of nothing, with nothing that enhances or warrants it.

One rule of being funny: the topic or joke has to be relevant.
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:iconprotowilson:
protowilson Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Yes, I believe you're right. I can't say my choice of humour is particularly politically correct or highbrow at times, but sometimes when crassness is used just for the sake of being crass to shock, then that's not humour. And used out of context it's even more ineffective at being humourous.
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:iconjustanoli:
justanoli Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Professional Writer
Well, you know what they say: timing is everything.

Honestly, I despise it when people try to be funny by using other people's material, and then do it wrong.
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:iconellygator:
Ellygator Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
It's more of a mutual process for me: anyone who distrusts anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die, is someone I want nothing to do with, so we should both be just fine. I'd rather go looking for a real man who isn't scared shitless of women, instead of some wuss who probably still lives in his Mommy's basement.
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