I'm so sorry to hear about Cushion. I had a cat a few years back named Samantha who had some sort of lung cancer. We knew she had a problem breathing sometimes and she had a lot of sinus problems, but one day my mom came home and found her coughing up blood in the bathroom. That's when we found out that she wasn't going to get better. It's really difficult to love an animal so much and then have them suddenly gone. I hope the both of you are coping all right. I saw your post on LJ, Cushion was a very beautiful cat who seemed happy and loved. You gave her a great chance to start again and that's what's important. Take care and take it easy.
Others have been so much more eloquent, but let me add a humble voice to the chorus: I am so sorry for your loss. Saying farewell is always hard. I wish comfort and good memories of Cushion to overwhelm thoughts of her end to both you and Adam.
It is tempting to think that a pet will be with you for life... your life, rather than theirs! The only thing I can suggest is that you think what you would regret if you lost your cat tomorrow. It could be to spend some time with him, take more photos, perhaps even some video footage, perhaps treat him a little. It is inevitable that you will lose him, and you may not know when, but have it set so that it will be on the least regretful terms possible.
One of the reasons I like to stay at home is because I can be with my cat. As long as I'm with him or I know that he's inside it's alright, but when he goes out and doesn't return after half an hour, I'm starting to feel like an overprotective mother! Thanks for your kind words; I think you are absolutely right about creating pleasant memories, before it's too late.
I am so sorry to hear about Cushion. I too had a cat that I loved dearly, had her for nearly twenty years, from sweet kitten to tempermental wonderful cat. I grew up with her, she got cancer and in the end my parents took her in and had her put down. She growled as the vet had to put her on her side to get the needle in and then that was it. I still keep a picture of her up in my house.
I'm so sorry to hear about Cushion. I lost my sweet cat, Oreo, in March, after 19 years of her companionship. I was crying a bit as I read your story, as you obviously loved your cat as much as I did mine. Oreo had cancer too, and letting her go was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. I wanted so badly to selfishly keep her, but I couldn't be cruel to her like that when I saw her suffering. I was with her when she passed as well, and that was beyond hard, but I felt I owed it to her, and I wanted those last moments with her. It sucks, it hurts, and it still makes me cry from time to time, but she was such a wonderful cat, and the memories of her are sweet, as I'm sure yours are. That's what I like to focus on, how wonderfully touched my life was by such a special creature. I hope in your grief, you find comfort as well.
OH FUCK! I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SPAM!!! Damn fuckin' server shit...did it again! First it tells me it doesn't go through, that there's an error and then it turns out it did everytime I'd clicked on it....I'm so sorry !!!!!!
I've had this loss twice this year and both through that cruel and merciful manner, how you describe it. The first, Cilta was February 10th, he had had seizures for around a year or more and we had controlled it but it came to a point where the meds weren't doing anything for him and the seizures were lasting too long. In the last x-ray the vet found a mass in his head, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him except for him being agitated and shaking all the time, it was so painful to watch him. The only other option was to have him, considerably sedated for the rest of his days. After that day of tests and such I had him with me, he was just coming out of the sedative the vet had given him to draw out blood and stuff, but he was already starting to shake again, he couldn't get up in time, he couldn't get up at all, and he peed on the chair where I had him laid down. I thought to myself 'Is this the life he's going to have from now on?'. I knew then what was ahead, though we were still waiting to see if there was anything in the blood tests to rule out anything else. Later that day I was sitting with him on my lap, he was still mildly drowsy, but much more aware, when the vet came out and said he was clear, that it came down to that dark spot on the x-ray and that there was really nothing else to do, that only other option came up and while we discussed it, Cilta started to struggle on my lap, like he was objecting to what we were deciding on. It breaks me even now to remember it, like he wanted to tell us to not let him go, but poor little angel couldn't even get up. I can't forgive myself for not letting him go back home that day, to have at least one more night, home, but he would just've been shaking and agitated another night through, he had already been struggling like that for the previous couple of days. With Ringo, the painful departure was more because he'd been with us half our lives, 13 years and he really was like a surrogate grandpa, but age and also cancer caught up with him. He was clearly letting go, like your Cushion, he stopped eating, was curled up all day, all night, before he would demand his meals, and I mean 'DEMAND' as the old grouchy cat that he was, and in the end we had to go wake him up and almost carry him to where his bowl was. It was obvious again, what had to be done, even more than with Cilta, but man, it was so damn hard to do so. We said good-bye to him this past 4th of November. Everyone says it's the right thing to do, but it just never feels any little bit like it. Ringo bit me just before he got the shot, I can't help taking it as a reprimand to what was about to happen to him. Never ever in his 13 + years with us did he bite or even scratch us, ever, so it's hard not to take that one personal. I miss them terribly, their beautiful faces pouring with their personalities, their presence... just their vibe around the house, I miss it so much!
Sorry to blab out like this, but I figured I could share with you my grief as well... ..hang in there, like a friend of mine told me, they will always be with us, all those memories, just the mere fact of that pride of having known, Cushion in your case, and shared your lives with each other sometimes brings -almost-enough comfort.
Oh, how very sad . Your LJ entry was so touching. I love cats and I've always wanted one... I had a blue budgie when I was little, just like this one [link] . I named him Petrie, after a character from my favourite childhood cartoon, A Land Before Time. He was so friendly and funny, we had him for about 9 years which is long for a budgie in captivity I'm told. It was very sad when he died... But that was at least 6-7 years ago so now I only have the fond memories... I'm really sorry for your loss, but I'm sure Cushion is in Shrimp Heaven now, relaxing and waiting to be brushed . Btw, very cute and original name, Cushion .
Awwww, I love budgies! I used to have two green budgies called Pixie & Dixie, and before that a blue one called Bobby. BTW, thank you SO much for the 3 month membership! That was very thoughtful of you! Can I, perhaps, offer a picture of your choice in exchange?
Ah hell. Sorry to hear that love. If it's any consolation, and to be honest it's probably not, you did do the right thing. That lovely warm feeling as you sink into sleep, that feeling that the world is gently letting you go for a while, that's probably all Cushion felt. Just picture her curled up snug on the floor by your bed. Remember brushing her, the feel of her fur beneath your hands. That's what she'll forever be for you, not how she was on the vet's table.
sorry to hear but it is good to show mercy and help the animal by ending the suffering sometimes that way we suffer he it can rest in peace and keep living in our hearts I know I sound cliche-like but I took care of many ill animals, did my very best to help but when it didn't do I had to learn to let go do not feel guilty, I am sure Cushion would have thanked you for it and for all the love you shared